I just spent the last 3 hours working on the stupid yard. The sun spent that same amount of time trying to murder me.

Never move to Texas…

FACT: If you live in San Antonio and own a driver’s license there is a 99.9874% chance that you’re an asshole.^[1]

1. Source: Texas Department of Transportation (ok… not really; but still, it’s a fact).

And way better than last time too! <3

Dear Fortune Cookie Writer Who Sees My Future,

First I must thank you for your endless service to myself and the millions of other fortune cookie consumers. I can only imagine how tiring it must be to continually gaze towards a time not yet come and then share your visions with those most appropriate. However, if I may offer a humble suggestion to improve upon your already mystical trade: details.

Knowing now that I will be a great leader who is honored by others is quite a load off of my shoulders. I also realize that since this is destiny nothing I do will change it, so there’s really no reason to stress. But I’d like to be honored sooner rather than later; this is where I’d like more info. If you told me how I got to be a leader worthy of honor then I could get started on it right away. Honestly, I don’t have any big plans for the weekend and would have liked to get the ball rolling over this upcoming two day break.

In case you’re worried about size, I assure you that if you needed to make the fortune cookie a bit larger to allow room for more detail on the fortune itself, I would be willing to save that much more room when eating lunch.

Sincerest regards,
Kane

A thunderstorm is God’s way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer.

Unknown

I love thunderstorms. I love a good solid downpour. The closer the lightning strikes the happier I am. The crack of thunder excites me just as much as it fills me with calm.

San Antonio is a desert, however we do have a rainy season. Historically the rainy season can be very hit or miss. This year it has definitely been a miss. It’s too bad because while Portland is quite rainy, I don’t know that they get the severe storms that we get here. There is a vast, vast difference between rain and a semi-torrential thunderstorm.

In my neighborhood I’m known as the crazy guy who you can spot standing or sitting outside in the middle of a storm. Still fresh in my mind are the memories of two different sets of neighborhood kids whom, shortly after moving into the neighborhood, were spotted staring out the window at me as I let the rain wash over me. Whenever I see them I make it a point to wave. Kids wave back so whole heartedly… it’s awesome.

It rained yesterday, and it rained some more today. Earlier tonight it started to rain again. As it started I was seated in my living room watching a movie, and with a quick glance outside I knew right away this wasn’t the sort of rain that warranted putting on my “get wet” shoes. So I just stayed in my chair and kept on watching The Wizard of Oz. It was not long after my dismissive glance that my living room lit up for a fraction of a second as the lightning demanded my attention. The thunder clap which immediately followed informed me that I was expected outside.

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